i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I know her cup size but not her name....
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
