Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
