roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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