you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize