omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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