are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize