i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
