I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
