Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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