i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
