he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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