I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
