just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
