On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
