So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I see more hoeing in ur future
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