And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize