Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
