Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
