I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
