counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
