Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
