Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
