You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
