This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
