whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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