if we break up, who will get the dealer?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
