All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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