Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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