epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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