This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
