Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
