Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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