this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
