Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
this will be a night to untag.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
