it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
