If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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