i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I forget how to act sober
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
