bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
