why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
where am i from again
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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