No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
