I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
the condom got lost in my hair
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Randomize
