The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm bleeding and have questions
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
