I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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