i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize