So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
