Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
