Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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