is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
