if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
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