Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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