your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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