I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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