I hate your face
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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