Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
