hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
