dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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