Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
