She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
