Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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